Sequel-itis Strikes the Mouse House Yet Again

Yeesh. After checking up on the latest DVD releases of early Summer 2012 (Chronicle, Comic-Con: Episode IV, and Project X being some of the films next month that will catch audience's interests), Disney seems to fulfill the time spent with re-releasing classic films, this time in the Blu-Ray format, with their theatrical bomb John Carter with two sequels that are unneeded. They're just money grabs for the mothers to purchase for their children if they've seen trailers for both and won't be quiet about wanting the films until they get them.

First up is the latest installment of the Beverly Hills Chihuahua franchise: Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva La Fiesta! No one thought that the first film, released in 2008 would have led it to become the newest series of dog films next to the hope-to-be-retired Air Buddies series. Within the trailers, there's nothing appealing about the first film that would have led to more adventures of Papi (voiced by George Lopez), the main star of the film, and his now increased family as of Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2. The plot for this film is similar to 101 Dalmatians 2: Patch's London Adventure about one of Papi's pups not feeling like she'll amount to anything in life. There have been many TV shows and films with characters that felt the same way but with various results leading them to appreciate how much of a difference they can make to someone else along with them feeling good about themselves which is why nothing new will be brought to the table in the film. Sure, there will be new characters that won't be reproduced as cute, cuddly plushies for the little one to sleep with during their bedtimes along with other actresses and actors that could be have skipped out on being a part of the film than having it be a part of their resume. Looking on the idmb.com page of the film, the character 'Rosa' who's the central focus of the film is absent. Wonder who Disney has chosen to voice her or if the character's name was changed at the last minute. With Disney Channel alumni Emily Osment and Madison Pettis in the cast, there's a chance that one of the two could be our lead despite their roles being 'Pep' and 'Lala'. The dogs are out again on September 18th, 2012 (date subject to change).

Tired of the Tinker Bell series and wishing that Disney focuses on bringing back The Boy Who Won't Grow Up in a new film based on the Peter and the Stargazers (first book now a theatrical production in New York City) book series? There's no stopping the fairies with, for the 1st time ever in Disney history, the latest in the series being released in Blu-Ray 3D, Secret of the Wings. Why Tink's name is absent with this release? It's a no-brainer just looking at the two covers created for the film. Coming soon to stores, iTunes, and online retailers everywhere on October 23rd, 2012, the plot details are unknown at this point in time, but special features have been announced including the full Pixie Hollow Games short and Zendaya's (from Disney Channel's Shake It Up) "Dig Down Deeper" music video. With not much to say about the mischievous fairy's newest adventure, it's time to sign off for now.

Summer Won't Be Easy for Wimpy Kid

While not a fan of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid films, I remember seeing the last two and giving them a pass due to not having a lot of negative things to bring up about the film. I do, however, have to bring bad news: I'm not feeling this trailer. I take it back. The only character I'm looking forward to seeing again is Patty. No, actually I do have one negative: the insertion of Holly. The character just makes me think of the young, shallow, stereotypical blond girls most people have seen recently and in years past. She's too much of the early version of Lila from Hey Arnold when I know good and well there's more to the character than what's on screen. If you watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, you'll be annoyed by the character as well. As for the rest of the cast, I think they're fine with what they're doing in their lives. I can't say the same of Holly and Chirag's actors who have, and continue to be given, bad material within Disney Channel's Jessie. Zachery Gordon's too old to return to the franchise since I've thought that, to this point, it's been about a year/year and a half since the first film. Never would I have known that his voice would have gone deep between the films. If that's the case, there could be a replacement coming down the pipes. As for the rest of the cast, perhaps they'll surprise me come August. For this to be released after the heavy hitters of the Summer giving this season a run for its money, Wimpy Kid: Dog Days will have an audience provided the kids aren't seeing The Dark Knight Rises, Brave, and The Avengers, to name a few, with their folks. Fox, you might have pulled a terrible move for the film to be released before the kids return to school. In fact, besides seeing those mentioned movies, kids will probably be on vacation with their families, getting school clothes, and saying their good-byes to their mates at camp. So many factors can result in this film making less money as the other two films, but it might do better than Judy Moody.

 Trailer #1 can be seen here.

'Reunion' Brings Out the Good & the Bad'

Image courtesy of washingtonpost.com

Nine years since being married, Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), along with their friends from high school, reunite again for their 13^th high school reunion. While the event gives the time for them to rekindle their sexual passion that’s been missing since having their two year old son, it opens up old feelings for exes between the rest of the cast such as sports announcer Oz (Chris Klein), in a relationship with a wild, partying girlfriend, having a strong attraction for Heather (Mena Suvari) who is also in a relationship. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), who’s married, meets up with his first love Vikki (Tara Reid who hasn’t been involved with the series since American Pie 2), now divorced, where hints of them returning as a couple are hints. Finch returns and still remains as the straight man throughout the silly moments and goes through a quick growth where he proves himself a man in various ways as well as….can’t let any more details slip out about him. Stifler (Seann William Scott), who is seen as working for a big corporation, is just a temporary worker where he’s no longer the boss like he was in his youth but rather the bitch according to his boss (Vik Sahay fresh from NBC’s Chuck). With more familiar faces such as Shannon Elizabeth and Jon Cho, Universal Pictures fulfilled its mission to give audiences the characters who put a spin on high school/college life as well as growing up and moving on to creating families and getting careers while restricting them from being free from responsibilities. With a friend, or girlfriend, who won’t watch the latest episode of The Real Housewives without you, male readers (female readers if you have men who won’t watch their fave shows without you), you’ll agree with Kevin with wanting some time with the guys (or girls).

Image courtesy of iwatchstuff.com

I want to thank gofobo.com for providing the chance to see the fourth installment in the original American Pie film series. As someone who hasn’t seen any of the previous installments and catching glimpses of a bit of the spin-offs, the film brings the laughs thanks to Adam Herz with the Schlossberg/Hurwitz team that was responsible for the quick-to-DVD-from-theaters third entry of the Harold and Kumar series. Continuing to fly around my mind is Stifler (Sean William Scott) and his crazy antics that teeter-totter between hilarious revenge and a one-way ticket to prison. The latter comes to mind when the writers think it’s funny to have Kara, Jim’s neighbor, wanting Jim “to come so bad” to her 18^th birthday party. Sexual innuendo! Stifler tries his hand at trying to get some action at the beach party while wanting Jim to “be her daddy” in order to bring home to Michelle all of the sexual action that would occur if he and Kara do the deed. Hilarity ensues. Stifler’s one of the many man children who should be punished for some of his actions yet the writers decides to give him his reward for his “kind” gestures near film’s end. Remember kids: be a jerk, do a complete 180 when you realize that your childish actions won’t be accepted once you reach adulthood, and end up “jizzing like a race horse”. Those last words are Stifler’s words, not mine. He does get his just desserts after meeting up with an old girlfriend, but I wish he’s given more. Seeing him suffer brings great pleasure to my mind as well as the suffering, if there was more, for Mater before meeting Finn McMissile in Cars 2 and Alan (Zack Galifianakis) in The Hangover: Part Two.

Image courtesy of filmofilia.com

With rumor of Eugene Levy working alongside Tyler Perry in the future, seeing him interact with Scott’s Stifler is might be the only time when the writers make Levy genuinely funny. Perry should take notes even if his comedy will be downplayed with what Levy’s working with in this flick. Most people haven’t seen him on the big screen in a while before this and Goon, but seeing him again is a great departure from his voice work in Astro Boy (2008) and Night at the Smithsonian 2. Do I smell a new, possible GOOD spin-off/continuation of ‘Pie’? Even seeing Levy working alongside Jennifer Coolidge as Stifler’s Mom can lead to “American Seniors” becoming a reality. It can expand on the characters time together along with topics such as staying young in a society where select people see them as getting old and unable to keep up with the times. I’m behind it.

Image courtesy of downwithfilm.com

The film’s better than what is in theaters this week despite its Tomatometer percentage rating (see yesterday’s last post). If you feel as if one joke is flat, another rushes in to deliver the goods (Also evidenced by the extra scene during the ending credits). Some flaws about the film will be mentioned elsewhere but I do notice many, MANY others:

• The introduction of Dania Ramirez as Selena, Michelle’s friend from band camp (mentioned in this film but never seen in the past three films)
• Jim and Michelle’s son only being two years old despite the couple being married since 2003 in American Wedding.
• Jim’s Mom (originally played by Molly Cheek) written off without explanation of her death.
• Having bare breasts just to have nudity in the film though it should be absent. There lacks a need to be in the movie to further the reason why the film carries the ‘R’ rating today. 

What's your opinion about the film? Have you seen it? Will you see it in theaters or wait for it to hit DVD/Blu-Ray? Next week's a bit quiet unless A Cabin in the Woods attracts me. I'm still unsure about whether I should hit up on The Farrelly Brothers' take on The Three Stooges or not. Until a decision's made about next week, that's all for now.

This 'Pie's Not Looking Too Good...For Now

Judging from these records from Rotten Tomatoes, it's a shame when a film from 1997 in 3D is making an impression with critics and fans than the fourth entry of the series of misadventures of Jim, Michelle, and friends. Sure one of the percentages is based on reviews from the time of the film's original release but it's still a surprise.

Note: these percentages can change over time. For instance:

Hope things look up for the 'Reunion' soon.

Rocking Out and Stepping Up with Ted and Katy Perry at the Sparkling Last House on the Left

Many trailers for new films for late spring/summer surfaced on the net in the past two days. Out of the grouping, two of them are filled with cliches and aren't making this guy step foot in the auditorium to see them when released.

The first trailer discussed here is one we've all been waiting for. By we, I mean the people who are alright with Bishop T.D. Jakes having a hand in two films this year, this being his second, along with the film possible making loads of cash opening day due to the film being two things that irked me about the film since its announcement: a remake and a cash grab due to a deceased celebrity. Sparkle is no longer needed in a world where portions of said film have been pounded into the ground. It doesn't matter that this was the final theatrical project the late R&B singer Whitney Houston was involved in the production before her death. It doesn't matter if this film's purpose is to bring forth Jordin Sparks to the big screen to save what was left of what I thought was a depleting career (only saved by her guest appearances in The Suite Life on Deck and Big Time Rush). What came to mind when the film was announced is the same advice I give to you fair readers. If you've seen any film that dealt with any of these elements:

• abusive boyfriends of lead or secondary singers of any singing group be it fictional or non-fictional
• abusive boyfriends with lone singers who are ready to take the stage 
• potential singers who may have mothers and fathers who disagree with their children wanting to become singing superstars due to their past blinding them and missing out the fact that the kids might have better and enriching lives if they go out to live out their dreams
• possible murder of said abusive boyfriend. crooked record corporation executive/lone singer being threatened by someone with a gun
• dialogue sounding similar to each other about wanting to break free from the cage that is the family home to make it to the big time,

avoid the film at all costs. Trailer for the film found here.

At this point, even ABC Family's Cyberbully is looking to be a better film to watch at the moment. That's an Oscar winner especially with Emily Osment with the popular "I can't get the cap off" scene.* 

*Note the sarcasm.

Honestly, Emily Osment does her best in a film that's set in the world of reality and parody. 

The second film on the list is Ted, the big surprise hit from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. Featuring Mark Wahlberg, who should challenge Chris Klein to a dance-off one day, with the beautiful Meg Griffin a.k.a. Mila Kunis in a tale about a man whose girlfriend believes that his childhood friend, who magically begins to talk, eat, and have a mind of his own, is interfering with them going from being boyfriend and girlfriend to possibly getting married. The surprise of the film is the world where the film takes place. I guess since the days of Toy Story, the people aren't surprised about seeing talking toys especially those who aren't afraid to speak out and enjoy spending time with the public. The days between Marky Mark and Ted are dwindling down, but they're going to make the best of the time spent together no matter who think of their friendship as an embarrassment. If you're not a fan of McFarlane's work, that's fine. Hopefully there aren't any jokes that make women second class citizens/punching bags as always. Trailer is found here.

Third on the list is House at the End of the Street starring Jennifer Laurence fresh from The Hunger Games. This thriller's filled with a beautiful woman without her famous bow and arrows or her Beast of a boyfriend from X-Men: First Class to assist her from a killer who just killing just to kill due to this villain, at the time, not having a reason why she's his/her target. Ready for some screams and jump scares?

The trailer's found here. No complaints about this film.

Step Up: Revolution comes up as the fourth film and the second film filled with the same-old, same-old: weak story and dialogue, unnecessary cameos of characters from previous entries in the series to tie all of the films together, and flash mobs. The film does have a mechanical surprise which I hope can dance or else, Summit Entertainment won't see a cent from me. When everyone thought that Step Up 3D was the death toll of a series that brought in the big bucks to keep the company alive before The Twilight Saga, someone was keeping it on life support. Trailer #1 found here. Thanks clevver.tv.

Image courtesy of anomalousmaterial.com

Oh Paramount, you just can't stop with the 3D madness especially with concert films. After Justin Bieber: Never Say Never ended up making over $73 million domestically last year, along with Paramount hoping to make big bucks with Titanic 3D this week, beginning today, the studio decides to give Smurfette a chance to wow audiences with her first 3D concert film. After what happened with Fox with Glee: The 3D Concert Tour (though it made close to $12 million domestically on a $9 million budget according to boxofficemojo.com) late August, does anyone care anymore about concerts on the big screen projected at them by paying an extra cost by sporting an extra pair of eyes? Who knows? Who cares? Go see the trailer for yourself. Trailer found here. I'm not seeing it. 

Image courtesy of impawards.com

Whew, hopefully that's enough coverage for ya. If you haven't read or heard about these films, again, see the trailers for yourself if interested or needing more reasons to not see the films covered tonight. I could talk about Rock of Ages and Warner Bros. NOW trying to push the film among those who haven't heard about it coming to theaters through YouTube despite the trailer being out for a while, but that's for another time. 

I can't believe there's going to be a reboot of The Mummy series. Can't Universal leave any of its franchises alone? I don't care about how much money the studio might make with dormant series get a fresh breath of air. Create new franchises people! More ridiculousness from Hollywood also come in the form of a sequel to Grown Ups, with Taylor Lautner, and remakes of the films Summer School and Silent Night. The extra news are courtesy of collider.com and rottentomaotoes.com.

The 'Journey' to 'Being' Red Hot is Now on DVD/Blu-Ray

One film that caught my interest is FINALLY on DVD/Blu-Ray! The film had a short run over at The Charles Theater but now it can be mine. ALL MINE!!

If you're a Baltimore native, you should know about a clever man by the name of Kevin Clash. He's been the voice behind everyone's show stealer of Sesame Street for years. Now, in his first documentary, experience the journey of this master puppeteer and voice actor for the first time if you haven't gotten the chance to see it while it was playing in your town. If not interested, see if the trailer will help you change your mind.

'Being Elmo' Trailer #1

In other news, another fan favorite arrives to stores on May 22nd, 2012. From Studio Ghibli comes the film that might have collected small earnings in the box office but its normal for the Borrowers.

More 'Pie'? Enjoy the 'Reunion': Sneak Preview

For the readers who have taken the time to read the many posts I've written here: Thank you. 

For those who haven't seen what I'm bringing to the world in terms of film criticism: I'm going to make it big I tell ya. 

For those curious about how I felt about the return to a franchise that was pronounced deceased at about 12:01 AM on August 1, 2012: Be here on Friday for the full review. 

I'd Rather Be Expelled Than Dealing with 'Detention'

This looks like it'll be the worst teen horror film of the year. No laughs. Typical thoughts about this film being better suited for MTV especially with its Super Psycho Sweet 16 TV film trilogy came to mind. Heck, josh Hutcherson has been two for two with flicks breaking over $100 million this year thus far. This time, the friendly bread maker, with eyes for Katniss (Jennifer Laurence), might have a dud in his hands. The film is a pass unless my mind changes. What about you? Think this film is good enough to be seen in theaters?

Looks through film actors list on rottentomatoes.com:

DANE COOK'S IN THIS??!!

'Detention' Trailer

First Wedding of Ponies Gets Ad Boost

Image from equestiadaily.com

Anyone remember the billboard of our favorite ponies posing in the same fashion of the ladies of the film Bridesmaids last summer? The Hub is at it again with advertising about the Royal Wedding. It may not reach as many viewers as that from last year with the fair Prince Willie and Princess Catherine, but it will be worth a laugh or two. As a two-parter, complete with actress Tori Spelling covering the big event, it does lead into what could be the closest the audience will get to the Internet fan game 'Fighting is Magic'. For the people who've seen the commercial, they know what's coming at them. Not only do the episodes use the purple Princess Celestia released in stores for fans to hate to the point of Hasbro creating a fair and TV show legit Princess coming soon in the Fall as a new member of the Royal Family of Equestia, there was, when the episodes were announced, the surprise of a new relative of our favorite bookworm. There's much a-buzz about what's coming in two weeks. Hopefully, this event is worth the wait.