'Cars 2' Movie Review

 

Cars 2 might be the number one film of the weekend, but Paramount has next weekend in the bag. The reason is obvious. Still, what's a better way to pave the way for the final epic battle between the Autobots and Decepticons than getting more in depth about a world of talking cars who are not only interested in racing, but are also into saving the world from criminal masterminds. In this film, the villain, from the beginning of the film, is Prof. Z (voiced by Thomas Kretschmann) who, along with his cronies, wanting to sabotage the World Grand Prix sponsored by a new source of clean fuel created by Sir Miles Axelrod (voiced by Eddie Izzard) who also set out the race through Japan, Italy, and London. Lightning McQueen's (voiced by Owen Wilson) a competitor after Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy) makes a phone call on a talk show declaring that his best buddy was faster than his future rival Francisco Bernoulli (voiced by John Turturro). Once in Japan, Mater's mistaken as an American secret agent thanks to Finn and his partner Holley Shiftwell (voiced by Emily Mortimer) setting off on more chases, hi-jinks, and adventure one tow truck never would have expected in his life.

Notice how in the poster, McQueen's shown off to be the main character where this is Mater's film. Sure, select people in the audience won't be laughing at his schtick of being funny, but it won't matter to the kids.

Disney in 2011: Mid-Year Review and the Future

Hey all! Many of you, the readers, have known that you don't need to know my opinion about certain films before you check them out on DVD and in theaters for yourself. There are other reviewers out there that you can depend on that can give you plots of the films, their opinions, and space for you to make your own decision about whether or not a film's good or not no matter what the critics say. This plays into the lives of every man and woman and is a characteristic that won't go away anytime soon.

What I would wish is for Disney to get its act together. This year hasn't been very good for them with Prom failing to hit home with the critics though managing to make back its budget according to BoxOfficeMojo. Winnie the Pooh has to duke it out with the students at Hogwarts come July 15th as the fans of popular book series about our famous young wizard Harry Potter bids farewell to his arch nemesis and welcomes a new day ahead where he's free from his harsh past and plush toys whose obsessions involve tasting honey and spending almost and hour and a half looking for a fellow friend's tail. Cars 2, recently, is taking a beating on Rotten Tomatoes proving that no matter how many toys a company can mass produce from a popular animation company, it doesn't make the film any good than it should have been. Need I say more about Mars Needs Moms? Another blast from the past, The Muppets, might also face a beating with critics and fans alike. The final trailer's jokes fall flatter than Robert Rodriguez's silly attempt for people to get involved with Smell-o-vision again. Rodriguez, it didn't work in 2003 without your involvement. It's not going to work this year or in any decade with your involvement. Spy Kids 4D my ass.

As for Touchstone Pictures (forgot that it was owned by the folks who own Disney) and Dreamworks' collaborations, I Am Number Four didn't have people wanting for a sequel. Percy Jackson getting a sequel, on the other hand, puzzles me. Real Steel could prove that their hard work has paid off making the game of Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots into a fun, hard-hitting flick that won't need the sentimental moments between father and son. Just watching the last trailer made me wish that the kid had no involvement with Hugh Jackman's character trying to get back into the sport that made him popular to the people before the machines took over. It could also make audiences wish that, for those who remember it, the show Medabots could be adapted for the big screen. That would have been awesome! If this film fails, we have hope.

The Mouse House has a lot of cleaning up to do. Aside from dealing with more Tinker Bell and AirBuddies films coming to your local Wal-Mart and Redboxes, I'm looking forward to 2012 even it means that it'll be the last year spent on Earth. If we live to see past 2012 and jump into 2013, maybe Disney will stop trying to throw their ripe young actors from Disney Channel into their dubs of Studio Ghibli films. The British aren't playing this game. Why can't we? The answer's simple: money. Tell that to the people who brought us Doogal. Maybe people will realize that Pair of Kings has been a sham all along. Making audiences believe that Mitchel Musso and Doc Shaw as twin brothers might have worked, but the fetish for twins will be over soon. That also goes for finding the next Disney Tween Idol. After the mishaps with Lohan, Spears, and Lovato, families will have to be careful with whom they'll let groom their kids to become singing, acting, and dancing sensations. Perhaps Ark Music Factory will be their best bet. It received a lot of publicity due to their first and ONLY rising star. Disney XD might be in shambles leading to the resurrection of a new channel that will focus on bringing back fresher material that won't be directed to and stereotype JUST one audience. Mickey Mouse and the gang will become relevant again as their first feature length film in years becoming the only 2D animated film to win for Best Animated Feature. There's so much that we can wish and expect will happen with Disney as the years go by. Most of our fantasies will never become reality unless we work together to make Disney not a joke or sweat shop. Only time will tell.

Join me later this weekend as I dive into The World of Cars for the first time since 2006 and play my role in saving the world with Michael Caine with my review of Cars 2.

Next week's all about the Autobots man.

Better Late Than Never: Green Lantern (2011) & New Trailers

This is the first of many entries of a new series entitled Better Late Than Never. This will be the chance of covering films seen in theaters after their original releases. These three mini-reviews should be enough to give readers an overview of what to expect to see if they decide to give up their hard-earned cash to check out the likes of Emma Roberts (Reviews for both The Art of Getting By and Scream 4 coming soon) and Ryan Reynolds. Speaking of these stars, let's get things rolling with the most talked comic book film failing to gain momentum critically: Green Lantern.

Ryan Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan, a jet fighter pilot who's taken to the planet Oa after being given a ring and magic lantern worn by a deceased member of the Green Lantern Corp. Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison). Chosen because he is one without fear, and being the first human to be a part of said Corp., he has to face off against two foes Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), a scientist whose past made him the chosen candidate to examine Abin Sur's body. He's later affected by the remains of Abin Sur's murderer as well as formidable foe against the other Green Lanterns Parallax (voiced by Clancy Brown) and creates danger using his thoughts to put other people in danger such as his father and Hal's love interest Carol (Blake Lively). To fight off against Hammond and Parallax, Hal goes under training with Tomar Re (voiced by Geoffrey Rush), Kilowog (voiced by Michael Clark Duncan) and Sinestro (Mark Strong) which goes by so fast, it's unbelievable that Hal's able to swoop in to save the day. On the positive side, there were a few uses of the powers from both Hal and Hector that made me smile. I felt the Hector used his powers much better than Hal. The film almost slid into being a kids' film with Hal interacting with his nephew early in the film, but it steers back to being one for all audiences yet will lose faithful readers of the comic books early on due to too much time being spent on Earth with little time spent on Oa, the short battle of Green Lantern Corp. vs. Parallax, and Sinestro's solution to defeating Parallax with an item set up to never be used anytime in the film and set to be sequel bait. The rest of the following notes below go into detail about what went wrong with the film.

I couldn't believe Blake Lively as Carol as a hardcore, straight-faced woman. I couldn't feel any love between her and Hal and wished that some of their scenes such as their little conversation turned dance at the bar could have been left on the cutting room floor.

On the topic of battles, what was with the three random guys attacking Hal? First of all, there wasn't a lead-in and no one in the audience knew about who was getting fired other than the possibility of Hal even though Carol saved him by giving him a lighter punishment. Second, it almost made me remind myself of the random thugs attacking Mary Jane before Our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man to save her in Spider-Man (2002).

Hector having daddy issues? What? This might ring true in the comics, but the family drama should have been left out of the film. Speaking of family drama, I understand that Hal's nephew Jacob didn't want him to get hurt after testing out the jet, but the interaction between the two also should have been cut.

Now that I think about it, why is the film filled with SO many scenes that were unfit for the film? I'm sorry, but less family scenes, stronger romance angle, better uses for the Green Lantern ring, and a better villain (Sinestro) than the brother of Galactus of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

After being reminded of Hal's training in The Cinema Snob's review of the film, I remember the Captain America reference of Hal being hit by a shield reminiscent of the Cap's during his battle with Sinestro. Really? Let's make it clear that Marvel has 1-up'ed their game with a triple threat while DC Comics has this clunker.

When Hal's 'best friend' came to pick him up after Hal received the ring, Abin Sur's body disappears only for it to reappear in the lab when Hector was asked to investigate it. 

Summary of Green Lantern: There's so much that went wrong with the film that while it is okay, it's not going to be a film to be seen over and over again. If a sequel's made, it has to be MUCH better than this.

Moving away from this film, there are two new trailers that have been released today (not counting The Muppets which debuted last week. That review will come later.) For those who are ready to prove that they're not pussies, Shrek's feline friend who's good with a cutlass sword is back in his own film. This adventure sets up the character and his so-called legend before being meeting with the famous ogre in Shrek II. Here's the first full-length trailer which, personally, didn't make me laugh but will be enough for others to want to check it out this November:

 Second trailer is the blatant advertising for the re-release of Titanic this time in the oversaturated  3D. Add in The Chipmunks and we have an instant classic. Seriously, why is Fox waiting this long to advertise this film? This schtick might have worked when it came time to advertise X-Men: First Class, but it's getting old. I'm hoping that this will mark the end of The Chipmunk craze. I'm ready to no longer deal with them remaking popular songs for the next few decades.

Double Feature Review Time Part Deux

Thomas Popper Jr. (Jim Carrey) has it all: being able to bribe people with selling their businesses with stories of his explorer father, a beautiful assistant (Ophelia Lovibond) (whose knack is saying as many words with the letter 'P' as possible), beautiful apartment, and memories of his father. After his death, Popper Sr. decides to make up for the time he didn't spend with him by leaving behind a gift from one of his many travels: a live penguin. Little does he realize that it will lead him to care for better understand his family as well as being the key to seal the deal with Ms. Van Gundy (a surprising return from Angela Lansbury) to buy her family's restaurant near the brink of its extinction.

Judy Moody (newcomer Jordana Beatty), however, feels like she's losing everything. A couple months have passed since Mr. Popper met his arctic friends and summer returns. While some kids spend their time inventing time machines, giant robots, and saving the world in an alternate dimension, she's about to have the worse summer ever. With two of her best friends gone to Borneo and Circus Camp, she relies on her nerdy friend Frank (Preston Bailey), little brother Stink (Parris Mosteller), and her Aunt Opal (a too-cool Heather Graham) to assist her with a competition she created with her friends to gain the most Thrill Points before the end of summer. With no materialistic reward, she goes for her Thrill Points by riding the fastest and biggest roller coaster in a nearby theme park, participating in arts and crafts, trying out new foods, and catching Bigfoot.

Which person has the better outcome from their predicaments?

Ms. Moody, if that's her real name, isn’t worrying about impressing her kids and regaining their trust. She’s only a third grader. Mr. Potter, on the other hand, does so by promising his son that he's able to keep the penguins (after being forced to do so by his always mad teen daughter). While trying to keep to his word, he also has to deal with an Animal Control officer from the Central Park Zoo who’s trying to take the penguins to ship them off in separate zoos breaking up the family dynamic. He could have tried selling them to the highest bidder, making a coat out of them, or dressing them up as his Avengers (guess from the Marvel movies makes an appearance), but he wants them believing that Mr. Popper is unfit to care for them. After a certain scene involving said penguins, the officer's right until he goes from being a guy who cares for the animals to one who's heartless and insincere.

Mr. Popper’s children (Madeline Carroll, Maxwell Perry Cotton) might have a retired spy mom (Carla Gugino)* loving Mr. Popper’s change of character once the penguins enter in his life despite the two being divorced, but she's nothing compared to Aunt Opal who calls herself a guerilla artist from creating trash can lid hats to creating a giant female Bigfoot. She's also a chef in the kitchen with her soon to be popular Tangerine Fondue that's good to eat along with Fruity Cheerios and slice of hot dogs. Try some if you want to become a part of the 'I Ate Something Gross' Club or spend time with her and the kids at their 'Poop Picnic'. There's nothing too silly for her.

It's great to see both Ms. Lansbury and Mr. White back on the big screen in years since hearing Disney's Beauty and the Beast and Universal Pictures' Big Fat Liar (2002). With Popper, there isn't a reason why Jim Carrey is the lead character besides his name being able to sell tickets. One reason could have been because he wanted to be in a family film that wouldn't be a gigantic bomb that will lead to the closing of a film studio. The other is his kids needing a family film that they can enjoy besides being the vile enemy of Whoville and solving mysteries of missing animals. The film is Ace Ventura III in disguise rather than the unneeded spin-off Ace Ventura Jr. since this is the closest he’s been with animals, both real and CGI, in years. While his appearance in theaters has grown to be as short as his relationship to Jenny McCarthy, he’s having fun with his foul-weathered friends leading to children also wanting their own pet penguins. Let’s hope that their times spent with them aren’t filled with defecation, loud honks interrupting your beauty sleep, nesting in the cheese drawer, turning the thermostat to equal the penguins' habitat, and dinner where fish is the only item on the menu. Talk about a lot of responsibility. 

Judy's tasks, on the other hand, to obtain the Thrill Points seem easy but proven to be challenges until realizing that her journey to have the best summer ever was worth it. Raising penguins in her suburban neighborhood should equal to some of them right?

Both films are silly yet also aren't worth the $7.50 or more ticket price. Premiering next Friday in theaters along with Green Lantern, Mr. Popper's Penguins is another film where some people consider that the actors only took the roles for extra paychecks. Premiering in theaters alongside Super 8 this weekend, Judy Moody will be another family film lost in the shuffle of the blockbusters with a new one every Friday of the month (Transformers being released on a Wednesday). The penguins and Judy herself are all cute along with entertaining families, but are saved for rentals once they hit DVD/Blu-Ray. They also contain a few flaws, but aren't enough to keep the kids from asking their parents to see them during summer vacation. Even if the parents decide to pay to see these films, they will no longer deal with the blistering heat for a while or seeing Kung-Fu Panda 2 20 times. A warning for those families wanting to see Popper in action, get there a little late. Like Rio, the animated short Scrat's Continental Crack-Up is shown once again to further insert in their heads that Ice Age IV's on its way. When will Fox get to advertise their supposed third outing with The Chipmunks? No complaints about that decision.

*Carla Gugino's not playing her spy games this summer, but take a trip down memory lane by watching Spy Kids (2001) on DVD.

Have a Soul-Sucking Good Time! 'My Babysitter's a Vampire' Pilot Film Review

No, this isn't my take on Judy Moody beating the crap out of me with made-up words and joining to collect thrill points depending on what we did to make the summer "super-mega-totally-thrill-delic". It's not about the missing laughs in Mr. Popper's Penguins (seeing the film tomorrow morning). This story is about a young woman named Sara who ends up having to babysit Ethan and his little sister. Ethan, despite being in high school, doesn't seen the need of a babysitter, but once he and his best friend finds out the secret that's been hidden in their town for years, he'll need her assistance. The problem is Sara can't solve all of the problems that plague her story known as My Babysitter's a Vampire.

Originally premiered in Canada on TeleToon last year, the film, which is the three-part pilot episode of the TV series by the same name, suffers from the syndrome known as 'living in the '90s'. While the film makes fun of the heavily popular Twilight Saga leading to the disappointing battle between Ethan, Sara, and Benny vs. Sara's evil ex-boyfriend who turned her into a vampire (Where's Scott Pilgrim when they needed him?), the film suffers from having references to the good ol' days when saying 'whaazzup' over the phone with some friends was considered hilarious. Quotes such as 'Let's get this party started' and 'This party's off the hook' makes the film outdated and a perfect fit on Disney Channel. Oddly enough, the film and series premieres on the network tonight. What makes the film not a fit for the network is having a vampire getting stabbed with a fork and a trophy. The Mouse House hopes that My Babysitter's a Vampire becomes a hit this summer with the 10-15 year olds who may be too young for MTV's TV adaptation of the '80's film series Teen Wolf. If they have older siblings who are intelligent, they will guide them to better films to watch featuring vampires as the lead characters. They might have to wait a couple of years to watch True Blood, but the wait will be worth it.

My Babysitter's a Vampire: The Movie premieres tonight at 7:00 PM/6:00 PM Central on Disney Channel with a repeat at 8:30PM/7:30 PM Central

My Babysitter's a Vampire: The TV Series premieres at its regular time slot for the season until further notice on Monday June 27th, 2011 at 7:00 PM/6:00 PM Central. The show will continue with new episodes every Monday-Thursday.

"Mommy, I Want a Boob Job!" Really?!

Parents don't know how to raise their children properly. If it's not a baby smoking cigarettes, it's a mother who cares so much about her daughter's looks, she gives her a boob job. What's shocking is the daughter ACTUALLY wanted her small, undeveloped chest to gain a couple sizes. (Edit: she received a voucher to get a bigger bust once she turns 16) Rather than letting nature play its role as she gets older, she's now going to be called a 'freak' since her mother (Hint: she's names after Mattel's popular doll) is already creepy. We live in a world where children think that man-made physical changes to their bodies will make them attractive. How dare this woman give in to the demands of her daughter? She should have told her that looks aren't everything. Hell, I'm worried that the daughter will waste all of her money to be beautiful all because she doesn't have the right role models in her life. This is terrible and is probably going to be talked about on the news. I wouldn't be surprised if more parents attack this mother/daughter team within the next few weeks. What's ironic about this news is the daughter's named Poppy. Wow, even back when she was still in the fetus stage, she was given a name that would lead up to a possible future of plastic surgery. There's nothing more to say because the article speaks for itself.

Story and Above Image: http://huff.to/l6Foqw

Why Bother Going to the Movies?

Is it a shame that I went to see the film Soul Surfer? After discovering that it'll be out on my last week of my summer job, it made me ask myself: Why bother with going to the movies? Seeing that, Dylan Dog, and The Beaver being mid-late-Summer releases on DVD/Blu-Ray made me realize that studios should just throw the films in the stores without worry about how they'll make their budgets back. Look at the longevity of these films form the big screen to whatever sized screen you have for your HDTV:

Soul Surfer: Theatrical Release Date: April 8, 2011
                   DVD/Blu-Ray: Release Date: August 2, 2011

Dylan Dog: Theatrical Release Date: April 29, 2011
                  DVD/Blu-Ray Release Date: July 26, 2011

The Beaver: Theatrical Release Date: March 16, 2011
                   DVD/Blu-Ray Release Date: August 23, 2011

This is ridiculous. Even films that I saw recently in the $3 theater such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules is rapidly approaching store shelves June 21st. Are the studios to blame? Should we blame the economy? What's your answers ladies and gents?

Sony E3 Prsentation Opinions Part Two

Who cares about a presenter's tie? Talk about the damn new gen handheld system!

I may not know a lot of names of some of the people on the presentation including the president of Playstation Corporation.

I wish that the Playstation Suite could be connected with the iPhone and iPads.

The PS Vita's analog sticks look better than that of the PSP. Also, all of the other features aren't catching my interest unless there's a demonstration of the system.

Yes! AT&T being the exclusive carrier for the PS Vita. The company's good for something after all.

Sony's E3 Presentation Fails to Impress,,and Wins Me Back to Loving Them

I wish that Sony would stop focusing on 3D. No one cares about the gimmick. I wish that the E3 presentation could be more exciting since it's giving me nothing so far. While watching G4, I realize that as much as I'm alright with hearing about the latest sports game, the news is more related to being background noise. I was never into sport games, but there are plenty of people who will enjoy NBA 2K12. I wish that Kobe didn't have to show up with that whack and old entrance song. Also, what's dulling the presentation is the discussion about the Playstation Move. Come on guys. We know that Microsoft is kicking your behind with their Kinect systems.

In case you haven't figured it out, there will be opinions about the E3 presentations coming to the blog this week. I figure that I would let you read up on the upcoming video games and systems to make up for the missing film reviews I promised to add. Enjoy.

Update: I'm not into Infamous II but I know the red-skinned chick will be a cosplay favorite this year as well as the target of Rule 34. 

9:05PM: Favorite franchise coming back to the Playstation? Sly Cooper? I called it before seeing the rascally raccoon crawl the roof tops.

-D.C.