Explanation for my Late Reviews

I realized that I haven't been keeping this blog up to date like I should. Unlike some critics, I might see some films on different days and not on those of theatrical release. That won't mean that I won't express my opinion about said films. Letting you know about this sounds familiar, but I thought of trying to remind the readers that while there are many reviews of films coming soon and are in theaters now, I'm going to do my best and bring you my thoughts about them. Some films that receive positive reviews don't deserve them. One in particular is Hop, one of two films seen today that have been out of regular theaters and have recently found residence in the local $3a ticket theater. This summer, I'll do my best to cover more films than I have back in the Spring. If you don't read any of my reviews here, there's always Tumblr.

'Hop' Movie Review

Hop, a film that should have been released closer to the holiday mentioned throughout the film, had no point of existing. It’s a film that was made to market the plush toys and figurines of the adorable characters who wouldn’t have been around had it not been for the ridiculous story of E.B. (voiced by comedian Russell Brand) who, after twenty years from when he was ecstatic to be the future Easter Bunny, he decides to be a drummer hoping for fame and to travel the world with a band. The former Easter Bunny (voiced by House M.D.’s Hugh Laurie) doesn’t want his son to live his dream and wants him to continue with the tradition of delivering eggs and candy to all of the kids of the world. With a magical transportation rabbit hole, E.B. whisks himself off to Hollywood where he later meets with another slacker Fred O’Hare (James Marsden) after almost getting hit by his car.

Back at home on Easter Island, Carlos (voiced by Hank Azaria), second-in-command of working in the Easter Factory, has ulterior motives to becomes the new symbol of Easter by gaining the Egg of Destiny that is said to hold great power that’s enough for a rabbit but not for anyone else. The three bunny brigade known as the Pink Berets are sent to find E.B. while Fred helps the British bunny while making sure that no one knows that he talks, providing him a place to crash (his older sister Sam’s (Kaley Cuoco) boss’s mansion) and to score a job all at the same time. Oh and in case you don't remember Fred telling E.B. about Sam being single and wanting a rabbit? If you didn't get the sexual innuendo, that means you're more mature than what the writers were going for when creating the 'joke'.

The film, while it has a few laughable moments, is downright insulting. The younger member of Fred’s family is found to have only been adopted just to make the family name look good even if her singing isn’t the best. Second, besides the Resurrection of Christ and the occasional Easter egg hunts, the holiday doesn’t lead itself to a film sounding reminiscent to Disney’s Santa Clause series minus divorce, remarriage to keep the job of being the holiday idol, and more. From the trailers, the joke about E.B.’s special gift, besides playing the drums, is kept. That’s what happens when some of the humor leans on the childish side due to the film being directed by Tim Hill who also directed Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007) .

Unlike Scream 4, which was so ridiculous and hilarious that, even ad a bad movie, is one that can be seen again and again, this film doesn’t rise to this level. While the animation’s beautiful, especially when seeing the Easter Factory, and cute, the script should have went through many, MANY rewrites. The film reeks of being another tale of the lead character doing what he can to impress his family/single parent to prove that he/she’s not an embarrassment or the Black Sheep. The film can also be seen, in one scene, as a window into Russell Brand’s career where his film career could he heading downward. He might be remembered for taking the entertainment world by storm due to his life story and marrying singer Katy Perry, but the film makes him a big joke. With the movie released on April 1st, Universal had the last laugh adding insult to injury.

Final rating for Hop: One star out of four.

About the animation in regards to the animals: Darn you animators for making the rabbits so adorable to buy to add to children’s plush toy collections!

End of the World? Not Even Close

Hey, it's 7:53PM and we're still alive! For the people who still think that we were going/still going to die today, stop worrying, get a couple of drinks, and party hard. Oh right, partying hard is seen as a bad thing. I may not drink but I'm getting my party on tonight. Peace out!

Portman's Saying Goodbye

Quitting acting? We've seen this schtick played out before. Remember Amanda Bynes when she said that she was going to stop being involved in films and TV? I can't remember the reason why but I do remember her taking back that statement. Now we have another actress who decides to play the 'Qutting Acting for (insert reason here)' Game: Natalie Portman. According to many sources, she might look back at her Oscar as she tells her first child about her many adventures in Hollywood from dealing with George Lucas to having to hide the fact that she and Mila Kunis had some girl-on-girl action. I hope that she will return to the big screen again even if she has to take some years off. I'll miss her. I may not have cared about No Strings Attached, but after Black Swan, she was great in Thor last week. Speaking of which, there might be a Thor review coming soon. Wait for it.

Full Story: http://bit.ly/iXdk0O

Shell Gas Attracts Crime

Does everyone remember the transgender girl that was beaten at a MD McDonald's? Remember back when she could have been saved yet there wasn't enough help to until later after the fight was over and caught on film? Now we have another one and at a recognizable place as well. I've passed by this gas station many times but have never seen any fights there until now. Plus, it might have connection with a news story from last month. Then again the only thing that these events have in common is the gas station.

Story of the Stabbing at Rt. 40 Shell Gas Station

Video of the Fight at Another Shell Gas Station